Porn is love you can see.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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