i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
