erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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