weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
