Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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