Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
