hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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