O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
