white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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