her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
