She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
