covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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