You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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