Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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