I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
