Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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