I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
