Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
