he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
