I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize