Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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(313): View more from Michigan

tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just found my coat check number in my underwear.

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(760): View more from California

I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

successful birthday. 2012 rules

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(530): View more from California

You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?

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(813): View more from Florida

I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable

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