It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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