Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
