This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
ttyl tear gas
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
