you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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