Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
