Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I am morally bankrupt
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
