Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
