I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
