singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
