you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
