YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
