y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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