I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
