HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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