Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
