3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
