We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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