The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
