i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
