bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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