You can't special order awesome
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
