i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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