Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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