yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
