did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
