marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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