I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
