I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
