I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize