I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
