apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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