adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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