Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
