do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
