Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
