also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
