My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
