went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
