You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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