I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize