she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
