I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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