I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
