Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
