Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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